Like so many other couples, my husband and I have had our share of disagreements and hard times.
Through God’s grace, we have been able to weather the storm, even when we weren’t aware that our merciful Father had a hand in it.
I am much more aware of the hedge that God has placed around my marriage and my family. I am also, so very grateful that He values my marriage. That knowledge has prompted me to do my part as well.
Read any website on relationships and you’ll find so many things that you can do to improve your marriage. I know.
I think the best advice for any couple is to always start with prayer.
However, for the purposes of this writing, I’m going to share only one quick tip that improved my marriage almost instantly. It’s one of those tips that is so simple that it is often overlooked.
Simple Way To Improve Your Marriage Right Now
Text your husband at least twice per day and end every text with a term of endearment.
I know you’re probably thinking “that’s it?”
Let me share with you how this simple adjustment changed my marriage.
My husband and I were going through a serious drought. I loved my job working with families. I found myself engrossed in my work and often would come home really late.
I found myself constantly focusing on the negative attributes of my husband. In hindsight, I now realize it was so that I could justify spending more time at the office.
We’d gotten in a real rut. It seemed that we only talked about things that were absolutely necessary to run the house and manage our children’s schedules.
I began sharing some information with a couple that I was working with from the book The Love Dare. It’s a 40-day challenge for couples that give them small assignments to do each day to encourage a biblically-based love for each other. LOVE IT!!!
…anyway, I was feeling a little like a hypocrite advising my clients while I wasn’t putting any effort into my own marriage.
One of the daily assignments in the book is to speak lovingly to your spouse. I figured this was simple enough.
Like I mentioned earlier, I didn’t speak much to my husband and this had gone on for a VERY LONG TIME. So I felt a whole-lotta silly saying something loving to him.
I decided to send him a text.
One of my usual text that pretty much went something like this.
“I’m going to be working late tonight, don’t forget RJ to have his superhero shirt for his event tomorrow.”
So I began writing my text, but this time I wrote it like this …“I’m going to be working late tonight, please don’t forget RJ to have his superhero shirt for his event tomorrow sweetheart.”
To my surprise, he responded with “okay baby.”
I hadn’t heard a word sound so sweet in a long time.
Believe it or not, I was feeling a little anxious when I see the text because I didn’t know how he would respond.
I think it felt really good to both of us. …We kept doing it.
That was three years ago now and we STILL end all of our text messages with a term of endearment or pet-name.
The only time we don’t is on the seldom occasion when we are not-so-happy with each other.
How Has This Simple Change Helped
There have been a few benefits that I didn’t really expect when we first started this little exercise.
- It makes you feel good about the other person. It’s so hard to be mad at someone and call them sweetheart, or baby, or love muffin (well, you get the idea). I found that I just couldn’t see my husband as anything but my loving gift from God when I referred to him in loving terms.
- You feel like something is missing when you don’t do it. When we are not on the greatest terms, we miss the loving feeling we get from those sugary-sweet words and long to have them back.
- It makes you get back on track quicker to keep the good feeling going. Speaking of longing to have those sweet words back, missing them makes you work out your differences much quicker so that you can get back to the status quo.
So if you’re willing to take a chance and see how well this small but impactful suggestion can impact your marriage, please, please let me know. I LOVE a good love story with a happy ending.
If you are already enjoying the benefits of this or a similar technique, please share your experience…sharing is caring!
Blessings, Happy Homemaking!